Shame is a Liar
When I think of shame, I picture a teenage girl before prom. I see her looking in the mirror before getting in her dress and see the dreaded zit on her forehead. She instantly thinks she’s too ugly for the classmate that asked her out. She tries to squeeze it but no luck. So she slaps a few layers of makeup on. She does her hair and gets her dress on, but when she looks in the mirror all she sees is the lump under the layers of concealer and foundation.
She cries a bit over the zit on her head. It’s there - no denying but honestly no one else sees it. What she sees when she catches a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror is a “broken out pizza face.”
Adam and Eve sinned, no doubt. But when they saw their exposure after their sin, here is what they felt:
At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.
Genesis 3:7
The first emotion talked about in the Bible is shame. Guilt (as defined by Brene Brown) is “adaptive and helpful - it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.” Shame on the other hand is allowing the result of our guilt to change our belief of ourselves.
The immediate result of shame in the Garden, as we discussed in the last blog, was isolation. Adam and Eve tried to hide in the Garden (v. 8). When we look to the Garden of Gethsemane, we see Jesus calls for the opposite - He prays for unity (John 17:21).
We see shame isolate others in the Bible. Think of Jonah. He received a call and he didn’t want to follow it. He ran. What I picture on that ship in Joppa is this:
The waves are lapping against the ship. You see others boarding the ship. You see fishermen ready to fish off the Mediterranean shore of Tarshish. You see miners ready to harvest the precious metals off the land of Tarshish. You see families ready to reunite with their loved ones.
You hear their conversations. They are asking each other why they are going. You hear their stories through the ocean breeze. And then you turn your head and see eyes on you. The mystery man alone looking over the horizon. What will you say when they ask why you are on this boat? Will you admit that you are running from God?
Instead, the shame hits hard and you run again. This time, though, you find yourself below deck alone. (see Jonah 1:1-5).
When I look at my own story of shame when it comes to my mental health, I see myself isolating. It’s generally the first sign that something is wrong in my brain to this day. I stop calling my grandma after work. I don’t want to hang out with people. I can’t wait to have alone time. But healing doesn’t happen there.
Shame festers in isolation with me. But at the table - seated with the Savior and others, that’s where shame flees because it doesn’t stand a chance against us all together.
After shame isolates Adam and Eve, the next thing we see is shame captivating them. After God finds them in the Garden, He proclaims their punishment over them (v. 14-19). After shame overcomes them, we see God providing freedom. He banishes them but also gives them the authority to rule over the earth.
The hard thing about shame is if it gets you isolated, it is easier for shame to captivate you. I’ve seen it in my life. If I’m alone, it’s easy for me to jump into that place of darkness. Shame swallows me up. Without others there to help me see the Truth, shame can bind me. Shame tightens the shackles and slams shut the prison door. But God brings freedom:
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
Paul tells the Galations to keep walking in freedom. It is so easy to return to the prison shame wraps you in, even after you escape. It becomes easier to wallow in captivity then face the freedom offered to us.
Jesus promises this freedom to the prostitutes and adulterers during His ministry. They were women isolated by shame of their sin. The enemy used that isolation to allow others to capitalize on the shame. They rubbed it in. The women ought to have felt trapped (John 8, Like 7:36-50). And Jesus’ response was “go in peace.” (v. 50). That response - go in peace; walk in freedom.
Lastly, we see shame define Adam and Eve. We see it today. We think Adam and Eve and we think of the apple in hand. We think of the gullibility of the first humans. But God redefines them. We get more into this on the next blog, but let me call out one other thing.
God’s redefinition of Adam and Eve is seen in the foreshadowing of the Cross. He knew in the moment of the first sin what He would have to do. He knew in that very damning moment of the salvation necessary. He saw the isolation from Him and He planned then for the veil to be torn to restore intimacy with Him (Luke 23:44-47).
Shame defines us as sinners but God redefines us as sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:5).
